Furry Antics
by Psychotic Nightmare
Summary: Multiple drabbles concerning the fluffehness that is Sajin Komamura. Rated T to be safe. Chapter Five: Squeaky
1. Tail or No Tail?

**A/N: Yay for the fluffehness that is Sajin Komamura. I was bored and reading funny Yachiru fanfics, so this popped up. It centers around the one question every Bleach fan wants to know: Does Komamura have a tail?**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN BLEACH YA BUNCH OF- Nevermind. *runs away***

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It was a typical day in the Seireitei, what with Shunsui Kyoraku drinking massive amounts of sake and lazing around, Rangiku Matsumoto slacking off from the work she was supposed to do and Toshiro Hitsugaya yelling at her, Yachiru Kusajishi running amok with no one to stop her, and all the other daily going-ons that happened. But the one thing that was not normal, was the fact that everywhere Sajin Komamura went, even on the way to the restroom, he was peppered with questions concerning his wolf-like appearance.

The most common ones were as follows:

"Why do you look like a dog?" To which he would answer:

"I am not a _dog, _I am a _wolf!_ Learn the difference!"

As well as: "Captain Komamura, since when have you looked like a dog?" And his answer for that one was:

"I have said it once and I'll say it again: I am a _wolf_ not a dog."

And another, annoying one was:

"What does your Gigai look like?" He refused to answer this one.

But the one that annoyed him the most, the one he was asked multiple - at _least _twenty - times a day was:

"Do you have a tail?"

Everyone in the Seireitei has asked him this question once, hell, even Ichigo Kurosaki has asked him this question. It's funny how five simple words could grate on one's nerves as much as it did.

That's why, when an emergency meeting was called and _all _Captains and Lieutenants were required to be present, Komamura was surprised by what it was about. He was, surprisingly, the last one to show up. Even his Lieutenant was there before him. When he strode over to his place next to Kenpachi Zaraki, all the eyes in the room burned holes in his skin - er, fur.

Head-Captian Yamamoto soon spoke up and all attention was drawn to him. "Recently, there have been some pressing questions running through the Seireitei. Captain Komamura?"

The Captain of Squad 7 put his undivided attention at the Head-Captain, even though there was a sense of dread growing inside him. "Sir?"

"There is one question that everyone is curious about," Yamamoto started. "Do you have a tail?" As he said this, the Lieutenants and Captains struggled to hold in their laughter.

Komamura twitched. Once. Twice.

_The following events are extremely graphic and violent. Due to this, a description is unavailable._

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Komamura stepped away from the meeting place, sheathing Tenken as he did so. Behind him lay a mass of rubble and if you looked closely, scraps of clothing. Squad 4 was currently going through the rubble for the bodies, since only a few escaped Komamura's wrath unscathed (Byakuya Kuchiki, Yamamoto, Restu Unohana, and a few lucky others).

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**A/N: Sorry I just had to~ Anyway, please review and maybe give me some new ideas for future chapters!**


	2. Vet Day

**A/N: Yay for the fluffehness that is Sajin Komamura. It's something every animal fears: a visit to the vet.  
**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN BLEACH YA BUNCH OF- Nevermind. *runs away***

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Retsu Unohana strolled toward the 7th Division barracks, her naturally calm demeanor now creased with exasperation. She rapped sharply on the Captain's quarters and a muffled "Yes?" was heard from inside.

"Captain Komamura! Did you forget what day this was?" Unohana called.

Komamura sat at his desk in stunned silence before a sinking feeling of dread overcame him. "Oh no... Yes, yes I did!" he muttered, raising his voice so Unohana could hear him at the end.

"Then come out and come with me."

"No thanks."

"Captain Komamura."

"Yes?"

"You have to come."

"No I don't."

"I'm afraid you don't have a choice in the matter."

"Yes I do."

"Captain, this is no time to be playing games."

"I'm not playing games. I just don't want to leave."

"Very well." With that, Unohana left to look for reinforcements. Komamura's sharp ears heard her footsteps fade, and he sighed in relief.

* * *

Unohana, however, had gone to the 11th Division barracks and rapped on the Captain's quarters, same as at the 7th Division. The door was pulled open by a grinning Yachiru, who exclaimed, "Re-chan!" causing Kenpachi to look up from what he was doing.

"Captain Zaraki, I need your strongest fighting force."

"Why?"

"Captain Komamura refuses to come out of his barracks."

"Why should I care?"

"Do you honestly want a flea infested Seireitei?"

"...No."

"Exactly. Now give me your strongest fighting force."

"Fine. Ikkaku! Yumichika!" Kenpachi bellowed for his 3rd and 5th seats, who showed up right away.

"Captain?"

"Go with her." Kenpachi gestured at Unohana, who turned heel and left.

Exchanging puzzled looks, Yumichika and Ikkaku followed Unohana towards the 7th Division barracks.

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Upon arriving at the 7th Division barracks, the two men looked on in shocked silence at the few people who had gathered in front of the Captain's quarters. When they spotted Unohana, they all made a path to the door, which had been barricaded from the inside and outside with wooden planks.

"Captain Komamura! You need to come out!" Unohana called through the door.

"No!" Komamura was in a corner, battle ready, with Tenken unsheathed.

"Uhh... Captain Unohana, what's this about?" Ikkaku hesitantly asked.

"It's vet day for Captain Komamura," Unohana hastily replied. "Now break down the door."

"Okay." Ikkaku and Yumichika drew their Zanpaktous and proceeded to slash the door. The wooden planks, both inside and out (they had practically murdered the door), fell off cleanly and Unohana stepped inside the room.

"Captain Komamura, you must come," Unohana ordered.

"No."

"As I told you before, you have no choice in the matter." Unohana drew a small tranquilizer dart from her clothing and threw it at Komamura, successfully embedding the dart in his neck.

"Wha...?" Komamura soon passed out as the effects of the dart settled in. In unison, Ikkaku and Yumichika felt shudders travel down their spines. Retsu Unohana could be scary.

"I'll need help to get him to the 4th Division." Unohana, turned to the people that had gathered and smiled, making a whole rush of burly men enter the room. yes, Unohana could be truly scary.

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**A/N: Please review and maybe give me some new ideas for future chapters!**


	3. Bath Time

**A/N: What time is it? BATH TIME! (Random Adventure Time reference... yay.)  
**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN BLEACH YA BUNCH OF- Nevermind. *runs away***

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Komamura easily strolled down one of the Seireitei's many streets, a pleasant smile pulling at the corners of his wolf mouth.

Suddenly, Lieutenant Iba jumped out from behind a wall and shouted, "Bakudo 61: Rikujokoro!"

Six rods of light embedded themselves in Komamura's midriff, much to his dislike. "Lieutenant, what is the purpose of this?" he growled through gritted teeth, narrowing his eyes slightly.

"S-sorry Captain. I had to," Iba adverted his eyes in guilt.

"What do you mean, 'had to'?"

"We've been getting complaints about fleas and such around the Seireitei." As Iba spoke, a group of men from all squads showed themselves, carrying sponges, soaps, and one man carrying a fire hose.

The fire hose was turned on, and Komamura was immediately doused in cold water.

"... Damn it," he muttered, soaked to the bone.

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**A/N: Please review and maybe give me some new ideas for future chapters!**


	4. Kitty Kitty

**A/N: MEOW.  
**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN BLEACH YA BUNCH OF- Nevermind. *runs away***

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The furred Captain sniffed the air, his ears swiveling around. _There! _Soft pawsteps about ten feet from his door. And with the pawsteps, the scent of cat.

Komamura detested cats.

They thought of themselves as higher than everything else, and payed no heed to the effects their actions would have on others.

And that is why, as the cat passed the door to his office, Komamura growled and pointed Tenken at the creature.

It was small and white, with big blue eyes. It stopped to stare at Komamura, giving a "Mrrrooooww~"

Just then, Captain Soifong dashed by, picking up the cat and hissing, "Mine!" as she went.

Komamura was left agitated and twitching.

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**A/N: Please review and maybe give me some new ideas for future chapters!**


	5. Squeaky

**A/N: My dog got a new toy and she runs in circles making it go "SQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAK"  
**

**It's really annoying.  
**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN BLEACH YA BUNCH OF- Nevermind. *runs away***

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_Squeak squeak._

__Twitch.

_Squeeeaaak. _

Twitch twitch.

_SQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUE AKSQUEAKSQUEAK! _

"WHAT IS THAT INFERNAL NOISE?!" Komaura roared, slamming open his door and glaring outside.

Just outside his door, a group of unseated officers crouched. They laughed when he opened the door, and he soon found out why; they were holding a large, blue, bone-shaped squeaky toy.

"Go. Away," he growled through gritted teeth.

The shinigami squeaked in terror and made to run away, but not before the Captain snatched the toy from their hands and disappeared back in his office.

A moment later, two noises were heard.

_Squeeeeeeeaaaaakk. _

Chuckle.

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**A/N: Please review and maybe give me some new ideas for future chapters!**


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